So yes, you may be aware that it was recently my birthday. It was lovely. Let me just run through all the events that have happened thus far.
Saturday 28th October
Gargmeet. It went really well. Perhaps it was better without so many people to be honest. One for me to think about.
Firstly, I went to pick Diggeh up from the station. On coming back to mine, we soon wait for the stavmurraybigmo car to arrive. This took a very long time as, thanks to Leicester being shit, they got lost. I shall pause for a second whilst you finish your slow clapping.
When everyone finally arrived, it was time to swan off for a couple of hours of pool.
After nearly decapitating a passing hoodiechav, we decided to move on to the cinema.
On getting there and after several kerfuffles involving which film to see, what we should eat in the pub on waiting and who should carry my pork pie, we eventually went into the cinema and took our seats.
We saw the film The History Boys which was gay and lovelygay. Various incidents involving sleep, pulling Lea’s hair a bit and miscellaneous other mischief and a couple of hours later, we eject ourselves from the cinema and head towards the direction of my house.
The wonderful :G T-shirt I received (love you Kelsey)
Two buses later and we arrive, slightly drunk and with headaches in tow. So in lieu of this, we play Guitar Hero for a fair while. After we get bored of Diggeh raping everybody in the cunt with knives, we move on to play with the Eye Toy. After establishing very quickly that the Eye Toy isn’t so fun, we move onto what is clearly the best game in the world. Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring to your attention…
INTERNATIONAL TRACK AND FIELD!
Oh yes. Oh dear god yes. The amount of fun that 4 people at a time can have whilst simulateously bashing X and O is utterly dumbfounding. Our 2 or 3 hour session of button bashing is sheer testiment to my seriousness on this. Who knew?
Or course when our thumbs finally just died, we went onto “We Love Katamari”. Oh dear god, what? Just what the fuck is… what? I have no words about this game to be perfectly honest with you. It’s just too fucking weird
Wednesday 1st November
And hello birthday. Oh yes. Presents I have received are as follows…
- Jeremy Clarkson - The World According To Clarkson: Volume 2 (Hardback)
- Terry Pratchett - Wintersmith (Hardback)
- A bottle of JD (Lovely)
- A long-sleeved T-shirt with “:G” printed on it
- $5 on paypal for a pint or two
- Pool Cue
- £55
Not much compared to some of you greedy and spoilt fucking cunts but I am absolutely happy with everything.
The two books that I very much look forward to reading
Ok so Presents are open. Later on that night, my ‘rents and gran take me out to a pub in Glenfield (for non Leicester people, “nearby”) for a meal.
And what a meal.
For starter I had Duck A L’Orange with Toast and a side order of salad.
For my main I had a massive double bacon cheeseburger with a side order of chips and some more salad.
For my dessert, my ‘rents arranged for my belgian waffle with a banoffee and pecan sauce with a few scoops of ice cream, to have a candle sticking out of it and stuff. Which was lovely and quaint I thought.
So yes, add to this a couple of pints of Guinness and it was an amazingly lovely evening and I enjoyed my day fully.
Thursday 2nd November
So yes, today is the day of the Pool. I went and took myself into town to my regular pool hall for some coaching. Ben, who works there on weekdays (when I’m usually about) gave me a solid 4 hours of coaching. Think of it as a sort of… crash course. He even let me use his cue for practicing various shots.
So yes, as this goes on, he informs me that I should probably get myself a proper pool cue as soon as possible, at which point an idea occurs to me.
A couple of friends of mine said they would get me some trainers for my birthday. So what if they got me a new cue instead? Hell, my “posh” shoes look perfectly alright as they are and new enough to make no real difference.
Long story short, on Lea’s arrival, I now own myself a new cue. Infact, have some pictures…
Both of my cues in the case
My lovely, brand-spanking new pool cue
Both my pool and snooker cues
It is made from reinforced maple and… oh how it glides through the hand.
But back to the lessons, I have learnt to walk into shots and to keep my feet sturdy. I have also learnt how to bridge properly and even an easy way to hit shots where the hand needs to be on the rail. Lessons were given also to spin theories and similar.
The upshot of all this is that, if I could kick your arse before, I can pretty much rape it now without effort.
So as I write this, I am slowly filling myself with a spot of my JD whilst I wait for another year to pass. The celebrations of 21 years of greatness do not end here however. Tomorrow night, I shall be off to see DJ Yoda (should all go to plan of course), alone. Should be fun though, regardless.
On which note, I shall bid you farewell and I promise there will be a new rant soon. Possibly my first anti-rant.
Peace.
